Gain a better understanding of Japan and its people: The Gaijin Guide.

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

PRELAUNCH : GAME FACE


Shannon had his game face on.


People everywhere develop a game face. Like a Doctor becomes emotionally unattached when telling a family their father has weeks to live. But when at home he says "I love you" to his wife and really means it. Or when a Salesman thanks the annoying, question asking, time wasting customer for their business and still smiles. Its their game face... its how we survive the day to day drain of everyday life. We become what people expect us to be, a consoling doctor, a happy out going salesman.

After a period of time on social assistance the government deems you as "in need of further assistance". This came in the form of a forced re-education with twenty of my so called peers. On topics I mastered in elementary school, letter writing, meet & greet techniques. The aim of this course was to force you into employment using psychological warfare (a.k.a. sheer boredom). But I doubt Shannon got the memo.

He was the prefect guy for this job. Out going, great with people and a good storyteller.

I found myself looking forward to the classes. Shannon covered the work and spent the rest of his time telling us stories about his life in Japan. Tales of a far away land had me captivated.

I was able to befriend the leader of the pack - the one always first to answer questions, not afraid to speak his mind. Alpha male is the term used in psychology text books. Amazing how laughing at their jokes and showing an interest in people's lives can get you places. In his early 30's and freshly wounded from a messy divorce. We found common ground in making fun of women who had placed ads in the singles section in the newspaper. I didn't mean what I said, I respected women and wasn't a sour divorcee, this was my game face.

The alpha must have said something to Shannon because I found myself in his good graces. Shannon later mentioned that Alpha told him that he was impressed with me - for someone of my age anyway... Shannon & I became good friends, even after the course had ended. This saw me meeting his family, his Japanese wife and his son. He introduced me to Japan, showing me pictures, explaining what a wonderland place it was for Aussie guys and how people there would love me for my blonde hair and blue eyes - no questions asked.

Within a month, I had brought a ticket. Shannon had an answer for all of my concerns. He was going back in January next year and I was to meet him in Tokyo in March.

And this is how my story beings...

Sunday, September 01, 2002

FOREWORD : ABOUT YOUR FELLOW TRAVELLER

I'm a 20 something, middle class white guy brought up by a single mother. I no longer talk to my "father" - my parents split up when I was fourteen. We moved around a lot as I was growing up, my father changed jobs - a lot. I always envied those people who had been friends since birth... Children are raw, honest, they don't put up barriers to keep people out. An introvert you might call me, keeping my thoughts, opinions and feelings much to myself.

I'm good at reading people. Always observing others in social situation rather than partake in them... It's a hobby, a pastime something I enjoy doing. Keeps my mind occupied. I can tell when two people like each other, even before they know it. You pick up on these things when you study people. Body language, tone of voice, eye contact - all windows to the soul. The longer you've known someone or studied them the easier they are to read. But people on a whole really aren't that different...

I've always been surrounded by a good group of friends, but always felt that they didn't know the real me... Don't get me wrong, I have friendships just as everyone does. But we all hold our cards close to our chests at one stage or another. I always play down my intelligence, people tend to put their guard up if they suspect they're being analysed.

Sometimes I see similar traits in other people. Hearing them asking me bait questions. (Bait questions are when you ask something to gage a persons response, measure the time it takes to respond, the stress in their voice and other factors.) Or cross referencing what I've told them before. I always find myself delivering exactly what they are looking for. If they are asking these questions there is already doubt present, who I am to disappoint them? I'll wait that extra second to respond, increase the tone of my voice, cross my arms to display I'm emotionally closed off. Whenever in these situations I always find myself giving a slightly different answer. Then watch the rapid eye movement of the questioner as they think they have found me out.

This illustrates two things: One they think they are smarter than me, which is good because this is my intention and two they think they can ask me these questions without me thinking twice about it. But whenever interrogated its always so clear - questions off the current topic, even more so if the subject is brought up by the questioner. The anticipation of my reply with their blank stare and their voice changes from conversational to something with less expression. Like they have been rehearsing in the mirror for a week. I know this, because I know them.

I finished High School two years ago and thought to myself now what? While my friends went off to full time employment and further education I wondered - is this really all that life has to offer? Twelve years of schooling and this is what society expects of me? What has society done for me lately?

I've always had a passion for computers, label me a nerd if you want. Computers don't judge or hold grudges. I found myself earning money through an online business. I completed a course to gain a piece of paper that society deemed necessary to grade my skills.

Through the eyes of my friends I was still the same guy I was in high school just without the uniform and over due assignments. Reliable, trustworthy... predictable.

I felt it was time to evolve, emerge from my shell that I was so comfortable in. I just needed an opportunity to break the mould. My friends had expectations of what to expect from me, and who was I to disappointment them? What I needed was a fresh set of eyes to rediscover me, some new people to make an first impression upon.

This is how I came to meet Shannon...